Glimpses of Eternity...

More than any place we have lived, I am having a hard time with the people and culture of China. I'm not sure if it's my pregnancy hormones, or Landon's constant inability to listen and his boundless energy, or the setting of our assignment where we are in the middle of a fairly large city, but nevertheless it has been a hard adjustment. Coming off assignments in western countries, and before that very friendly Asian countries in Korea and Indonesia, I guess my expectations for behavior are a little different. What makes it more difficult for me is this is the most cushy assignment we have been on! The hotel is great- Landon has his own room with doors! Breakfast and dinner are provided, and we have more space than we have ever had! It really is the best assignment for us right now and most comfortable for me as I get more pregnant.

This is how far Landon is ahead of me... almost always unless we're near a busy road

To me, it seems that while the Chinese people we come in contact with are very dutiful in their assigned duties and jobs and activities, it does not occur to them to do anything outside of what has been prescribed. No common courtesy or being polite. That means, for example, that they just stand there to greet people at the entrance to the restaurant, instead of stopping Landon from running into the restaurant in his swimming gear and requiring me, in only a swim suit and towel, to chase him down in the middle of the fancy hotel restaurant to retrieve him before hopping on an elevator up to our room. It would be really helpful, too, if the bell boys and security guys at the hotel would stop Landon from running into the driveway of the hotel in front of taxis.  Or at the very least, if we are in a crowded shopping mall, if people could not cut off the pregnant lady with the stroller from the toddler who is always at least 5 steps ahead of her. I can't tell you how many times I have almost lost Landon in the crowd because people just barge in front of me, or cut in front of me in line, etc. Even doing something as innocent as walking down the street turns dangerous and annoying when people on scooters, unwilling to swerve around me or take a less direct route to avoid hitting me, zoom within inches of us going the wrong way on the sidewalk. People smoke EVERYWHERE, even on the non-smoking floor of our hotel and in the lobby of our hotel. At the train station, Landon and I were going to use the handicap toilet, and found that it was filthy with pee and stank very badly of smoke and was full of cigarette butts. It's like everyone just looks out for themselves, and whatever feels good to them, they do without thinking of what affect their actions might have on other people.  We cannot hole ourselves up in the hotel room or Landon would most definitely destroy it, but it is a very hostile place to be to attempt to go anywhere in the city unscathed.

Whew, now it's out. I'm hoping this will help me get over it.

So I have been having trouble, to say the least. I don't know any Chinese, I'm sure that would help me make more human connections with people. That's my fault. It's also partially my fault that I would expect anyone to help me out, me only getting more pregnant, and Landon only getting faster and disobedient. Some days are better than others, and some days I let this seething dislike really get to me. I've been praying for help with this as I know I am imperfect as well, and for all I know the Chinese people are seething about how stupid I am walking in their way and not corralling my child appropriately. Earlier this week, I had a nice experience that helped me to remember everything in the grand scheme of things.

It has been brutally hot and humid in Ningbo the past week or so- like 100 degrees with 80-100% humidity. Too hot to stay outside for long! Landon and I walked over to the mall that has an indoor play place. Although it costs about $10 to go in, you get a free pair of socks that you have to wear, and Landon runs around and has a blast for hours and hours in a fairly enclosed and air conditioned! space so it is worth it for us to do every once in awhile. Anyway, Landon was having a blast! I was watching him jump on a little trampoline with another little kid, and they were falling over and laughing and giggling, and at the same time the little guy growing inside me was kicking up a storm, and it just hit me.

My body grew this dynamic, brilliant, energetic, free-thinking little boy. He is maddening at times and we're really working on being more obedient, but Heavenly Father gave me this little boy, His spirit child, to raise the best way I know how. He has entrusted me with another one of his sons, and my body is working on growing him bigger and stronger right now. Even though it makes me more tired, hungry, cranky, and puts my body in a state that I'd rather not be in, I am so grateful for the gift it is to be a mother and to get to meet a new baby boy in just a few short months. This is God's plan for us- to have us come to earth in families, to learn and grow together. Eventually, we grow up and make our own families, and we learn and grow even more. Landon in his current phase is stretching me and teaching me things I didn't even know I needed to work on. He is teaching me how to be a better parent and a better person. I am learning more about psychology from dealing with him than from my two college psychology classes! It is mentally and physically exhausting trying to find ways to help him listen, learn and be obedient, but it is worth it seeing him in moments of pure joy.

I love these boys!

I am also grateful for a supportive husband who drops everything after a long day at work dealing with people that are just as maddening as the ones I described above, and takes over Landon watching. They wrestle and play and run and read stories before bed. I so look forward every day to when Austin gets home not just so I can have a little break, but so I can see these guys interact with each other. It is really amazing to watch.

And lastly, as I thought about our little family, I am grateful that Austin and I were sealed together forever, that our little family will be together for eternity. It is a comfort and a blessing to know this and a goal to work toward every day. Even as I find more and more things that I need to work on to become a better person, I also look back and see the progress and all that I am learning. I love being a mother. I love being a wife. I love that we can stay together as we experience new places and cultures.

So, people who have lived in China. Help me. Help me understand so that I can love these people here in China as we should love all God's children. Thanks in advance!