Feeling Better, Learning and Understanding...
I am happy to report that I feel much better this week about life in China. A few things have transpired to help me along the way, and I began reading a book that was just recently translated into English from Chinese about a Chinese factory worker that has helped me see a little better what all these people around me are thinking.
First of all, I had my birthday this week. I ordered my dream baby carrier (here's to hoping it's as great as I think it will be, I bought it online sight unseen) for my birthday, and Austin took me out to a great Italian dinner. I had gnocchi with a delicious tomato sauce, and we shared gelato for dessert. There was cheese involved, in our appetizer, on my gnocchi, and I was a happy camper. The gelato was homemade and also awesome. The next day, I ordered a cake from a little shop down the street named Black Magic. It is a chocolate shop and cafe, but they also do a limited selection of cakes. You basically have a choice of chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate cheesecake, or caramel chocolate cake. Although all looked equally delectable, I consulted Landon, my personal assistant, and we decided on the plain chocolate cake. It was moist and delicious and I ate too much of it.
Next, I spent 5 hours in the Ningbo Women's and Children's hospital this week. A friend usually comes with us to help with Landon, but she was sick and did not want us to catch her illness. So, Landon and I ventured to the hospital alone. This was our second normal prenatal visit, so I knew a little of what to expect, but this time I had an ultrasound along with my urine test and then returned the next day for my glucose tolerance test to rule out gestational diabetes. The experience of being there in the hospital and seeing the people having to struggle and fight just to get medical care helped me to develop compassion for them. I had a personal nurse/advocate to lead me through the different tests (there was no possible way I was going to navigate the system without someone who spoke Chinese helping me) and it was still a struggle.
First, you register at the registration desk. You have to tell them why you are at the hospital. I can't tell them why I am there in Chinese, so I skip that long line and head straight to my nurse who cuts the line and registers for me. The line isn't really a line as much as a throng of people and whoever squeezes through the front wins and gets care. After registration and paying for your visit, you wait to see the doctor. Typically how this works is that the doctor calls "next!" and three or four ladies and their husbands and families try to cram in the door at the same time- whoever makes it through wins. It is also OK to barge into the middle of a consultation with another patient to try to get your needs met. The nice nurse who kind of speaks English always makes sure I know when it is my turn, and whisks me into the room before others can cut in front. Even still, there are usually at least two interruptions per consultation. Each pregnant lady has an entourage of husband, parents, etc. that come to the appointments. Sometimes, they all crowd around the doctor in the room with the patient, and other times, they stand outside the door- pacing, peeking in the window, trying to hear what the doctor is saying. It really is something to behold! After a quick consultation with the doctor, where she looks over blood pressure, my weight and she did a quick doppler to check the baby's heart beat. She also measured my tummy this time. Then, she orders tests. The urine test is typical for every week to make sure my body is functioning properly. She also ordered an ultrasound this week. To do the tests, first you take a special card all loaded up with your ordered tests to the cashier. There, you pay and get receipts and stickers printed out so that the lab techs know who is who.The urine test involves going down to the lab floor, getting the supplies, providing the sample, and taking it back to the lab. You wait for about half an hour, then go back, pick up the results, wait for the doctor to be free again, show the results, and then you can leave.
The ultrasound was a little different. The nurse led me to the ultrasound floor. There were probably 50 people, counting entourage and actual patients, waiting in the halls of the ultrasound area. There were lines forming outside of each of the doors. The nurse told me to stand in front of door #6. I wasn't sure if she had "registered" me or if I just get in line. I had the stroller, so it took a few minutes before enough space opened up in the hall to get in position. The person who was "up next" for the ultrasound stood in the room, but behind a curtain from the ultrasound tech and person getting an ultrasound. As soon as they got the images they needed, they handed the person on the table paper towels to wipe the ultrasound gel off and called the next person in. I was trying to be courteous and wait for the girl ahead of me to at least get out of the way before I got on the table, but they kept beckoning me to the table. The ultrasound tech was poised there- ultrasound gel bottle in one hand, ultrasound wand in the other, waiting for me to get on the table. There were five other people looking at the images as they were taken, and the report took two minutes to be done and printed after the ultrasound was over. The whole process took maybe five minutes max. It also was astronomically cheaper than my ultrasound in the U.S. My ultrasound in Chicago had all the conveniences of the heated ultrasound gel, the comfy pillow and changed linens between patients, the disinfected ultrasound wand, the gloved hands, the tech who wiped the gel off my belly for me. I guess all of that and the more thorough 30 minute ultrasound could cost over 30 times more in the U.S. than my 5 minute ultrasound fighting the crowds in China.
After getting the reports for both tests, I headed back up to the doctor's to give her the reports and have her tell me everything was normal. The next day, I had to come back for my glucose tolerance test. I had to fast that morning, and come in without eating or drinking anything. Then I had to drink a large amount of glucose drink that I mixed up myself as a solution of the glucose liquid that the nurse picked up for me from the pharmacy (thank goodness for the nurse!) and water that I provided myself. I was also supposed to provide a cup but that was not conveyed to me, so they lent me a paper cup. Then we had to wait and have blood draws an hour apart, starting an hour after taking the drink. It made me feel icky, but I didn't have to traipse around the hospital with Landon this time. We just sat in the blood draw room, all by ourselves, and Landon played his tablet while I read my book about China. I get my test results back next week.
So I guess what I'm getting at is that the way the collective acts and treats others in China is caused largely by environmental factors. If you aren't assertive here and look out for #1 first, you get left behind on the subway, or miss the traffic light, or don't ever get medical care. It is sad, but I'm beginning to understand where everyone here is coming from. My book is also helping with that.
The book is Young Babylon by Lu Nei. It is a work of fiction, but it talks about this young man who went to a second-rate school and had no chance of going to university. His dad worked at a pesticide factory, and got him a job in a saccharin factory after he finished school. He was assigned as a bench worker, repairing water pumps. His job as an apprentice was to loosen bolts on broken water pumps. His factory also made formaldehyde and so he sometimes had to go into the formaldehyde plant to loosen the bolts on broken water pumps there. He describes passing out several times while doing this, and how one time when he took a cicada into that part of the factory, it died. Although this is a work of fiction, it is realistic fiction and judging from stories Austin has told me from the refinery and their safety protocols, I believe it! With the recent fires and warehouse explosions in the north, something became more clear to me and helped me realize why people are the way they are.
There are so many people here that each individual does not matter to society or upper management as much as other places. Since the state controls the media, they can convince everybody in China that their life is not that bad. They have a job, they can support their one child, and that is good enough for most people. It is insane the control the government tries to have over what comes in the media. For example, we learned most of the information about the explosions in Tianjin from American news sources through our VPNs. Before it was released to the Chinese that sodium cyanide was one of the chemicals that blew up, China blocked sodium cyanide as a search term for all of China. In the newspaper today, there was an article about how sodium cyanide is not a risk to anyone's health, even those living very close to the accident. Austin suggested that they are grossly under reporting deaths from the blasts, and keeping a tight lid on things by keeping media very far away from the site. It is sad that China does not allow their people to have the truth, or freedom of expression.
Understanding the child policy also helped me see why things are the way they are. The current policy (as per Austin's translator) is that if both the husband and wife of a couple who marries are only children, then they are allowed to have two children. If either party has siblings, they are only allowed to have one child. Although this is the official policy, many only children opt to only have one child. I don't even want to know the abortion statistics, whether it be forced or not. When I went for my first OB appointment here, that was one of three questions the doctor asked me, along with how many kids I had and the date of my last period. "How many abortions?" Yikes. She also asked for my genetic testing results. I opted out of them because although we would love a healthy baby, if our baby has some issues, that is OK with us too. We will love him just the same. She was shocked. There just are not special needs kids here in China, because they are terminated before they are born. Human life is not valued here as it is in other places. If hundreds of people die in an accident, those people are most likely replaceable, and society will not be the worse for it.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that Chinese people think very differently from me. While I have trained myself to try to look outward and help others any way I can, and give of myself and my resources, the Chinese take care of themselves and their own. They do their job, and they go home and spend time with their little families. They pour their resources into their one child, because that is their future. Once the parents retire, their child still lives with them, supports them, and the grandparents become the primary caregivers of the child while the parents work. People are not deliberately trying to run me over with their cars and scooters, they are just being assertive to get where they want to go because if they stop, they might get ran over! The kids are not sharing with Landon because they never have to share anything! I get ridiculed daily for being pregnant and having a crazy toddler not because they are mean, but because they cannot understand why anyone would want more than one child! They are content with their little slice of life so long as they can live their lives. So I'm trying to have compassion. I'm trying to not be judgmental of them, or to get mad at them when they are laughing at me in the street. I'm trying to smile and be friendly even when they aren't. I'm learning to play Frogger across the street to avoid being hit and still get to where I need to go. Some days are better than others, but now that I understand a little better how things are and how people think here, I am learning to be happier here.
First of all, I had my birthday this week. I ordered my dream baby carrier (here's to hoping it's as great as I think it will be, I bought it online sight unseen) for my birthday, and Austin took me out to a great Italian dinner. I had gnocchi with a delicious tomato sauce, and we shared gelato for dessert. There was cheese involved, in our appetizer, on my gnocchi, and I was a happy camper. The gelato was homemade and also awesome. The next day, I ordered a cake from a little shop down the street named Black Magic. It is a chocolate shop and cafe, but they also do a limited selection of cakes. You basically have a choice of chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate cheesecake, or caramel chocolate cake. Although all looked equally delectable, I consulted Landon, my personal assistant, and we decided on the plain chocolate cake. It was moist and delicious and I ate too much of it.
Next, I spent 5 hours in the Ningbo Women's and Children's hospital this week. A friend usually comes with us to help with Landon, but she was sick and did not want us to catch her illness. So, Landon and I ventured to the hospital alone. This was our second normal prenatal visit, so I knew a little of what to expect, but this time I had an ultrasound along with my urine test and then returned the next day for my glucose tolerance test to rule out gestational diabetes. The experience of being there in the hospital and seeing the people having to struggle and fight just to get medical care helped me to develop compassion for them. I had a personal nurse/advocate to lead me through the different tests (there was no possible way I was going to navigate the system without someone who spoke Chinese helping me) and it was still a struggle.
First, you register at the registration desk. You have to tell them why you are at the hospital. I can't tell them why I am there in Chinese, so I skip that long line and head straight to my nurse who cuts the line and registers for me. The line isn't really a line as much as a throng of people and whoever squeezes through the front wins and gets care. After registration and paying for your visit, you wait to see the doctor. Typically how this works is that the doctor calls "next!" and three or four ladies and their husbands and families try to cram in the door at the same time- whoever makes it through wins. It is also OK to barge into the middle of a consultation with another patient to try to get your needs met. The nice nurse who kind of speaks English always makes sure I know when it is my turn, and whisks me into the room before others can cut in front. Even still, there are usually at least two interruptions per consultation. Each pregnant lady has an entourage of husband, parents, etc. that come to the appointments. Sometimes, they all crowd around the doctor in the room with the patient, and other times, they stand outside the door- pacing, peeking in the window, trying to hear what the doctor is saying. It really is something to behold! After a quick consultation with the doctor, where she looks over blood pressure, my weight and she did a quick doppler to check the baby's heart beat. She also measured my tummy this time. Then, she orders tests. The urine test is typical for every week to make sure my body is functioning properly. She also ordered an ultrasound this week. To do the tests, first you take a special card all loaded up with your ordered tests to the cashier. There, you pay and get receipts and stickers printed out so that the lab techs know who is who.The urine test involves going down to the lab floor, getting the supplies, providing the sample, and taking it back to the lab. You wait for about half an hour, then go back, pick up the results, wait for the doctor to be free again, show the results, and then you can leave.
The ultrasound was a little different. The nurse led me to the ultrasound floor. There were probably 50 people, counting entourage and actual patients, waiting in the halls of the ultrasound area. There were lines forming outside of each of the doors. The nurse told me to stand in front of door #6. I wasn't sure if she had "registered" me or if I just get in line. I had the stroller, so it took a few minutes before enough space opened up in the hall to get in position. The person who was "up next" for the ultrasound stood in the room, but behind a curtain from the ultrasound tech and person getting an ultrasound. As soon as they got the images they needed, they handed the person on the table paper towels to wipe the ultrasound gel off and called the next person in. I was trying to be courteous and wait for the girl ahead of me to at least get out of the way before I got on the table, but they kept beckoning me to the table. The ultrasound tech was poised there- ultrasound gel bottle in one hand, ultrasound wand in the other, waiting for me to get on the table. There were five other people looking at the images as they were taken, and the report took two minutes to be done and printed after the ultrasound was over. The whole process took maybe five minutes max. It also was astronomically cheaper than my ultrasound in the U.S. My ultrasound in Chicago had all the conveniences of the heated ultrasound gel, the comfy pillow and changed linens between patients, the disinfected ultrasound wand, the gloved hands, the tech who wiped the gel off my belly for me. I guess all of that and the more thorough 30 minute ultrasound could cost over 30 times more in the U.S. than my 5 minute ultrasound fighting the crowds in China.
After getting the reports for both tests, I headed back up to the doctor's to give her the reports and have her tell me everything was normal. The next day, I had to come back for my glucose tolerance test. I had to fast that morning, and come in without eating or drinking anything. Then I had to drink a large amount of glucose drink that I mixed up myself as a solution of the glucose liquid that the nurse picked up for me from the pharmacy (thank goodness for the nurse!) and water that I provided myself. I was also supposed to provide a cup but that was not conveyed to me, so they lent me a paper cup. Then we had to wait and have blood draws an hour apart, starting an hour after taking the drink. It made me feel icky, but I didn't have to traipse around the hospital with Landon this time. We just sat in the blood draw room, all by ourselves, and Landon played his tablet while I read my book about China. I get my test results back next week.
So I guess what I'm getting at is that the way the collective acts and treats others in China is caused largely by environmental factors. If you aren't assertive here and look out for #1 first, you get left behind on the subway, or miss the traffic light, or don't ever get medical care. It is sad, but I'm beginning to understand where everyone here is coming from. My book is also helping with that.
The book is Young Babylon by Lu Nei. It is a work of fiction, but it talks about this young man who went to a second-rate school and had no chance of going to university. His dad worked at a pesticide factory, and got him a job in a saccharin factory after he finished school. He was assigned as a bench worker, repairing water pumps. His job as an apprentice was to loosen bolts on broken water pumps. His factory also made formaldehyde and so he sometimes had to go into the formaldehyde plant to loosen the bolts on broken water pumps there. He describes passing out several times while doing this, and how one time when he took a cicada into that part of the factory, it died. Although this is a work of fiction, it is realistic fiction and judging from stories Austin has told me from the refinery and their safety protocols, I believe it! With the recent fires and warehouse explosions in the north, something became more clear to me and helped me realize why people are the way they are.
There are so many people here that each individual does not matter to society or upper management as much as other places. Since the state controls the media, they can convince everybody in China that their life is not that bad. They have a job, they can support their one child, and that is good enough for most people. It is insane the control the government tries to have over what comes in the media. For example, we learned most of the information about the explosions in Tianjin from American news sources through our VPNs. Before it was released to the Chinese that sodium cyanide was one of the chemicals that blew up, China blocked sodium cyanide as a search term for all of China. In the newspaper today, there was an article about how sodium cyanide is not a risk to anyone's health, even those living very close to the accident. Austin suggested that they are grossly under reporting deaths from the blasts, and keeping a tight lid on things by keeping media very far away from the site. It is sad that China does not allow their people to have the truth, or freedom of expression.
Understanding the child policy also helped me see why things are the way they are. The current policy (as per Austin's translator) is that if both the husband and wife of a couple who marries are only children, then they are allowed to have two children. If either party has siblings, they are only allowed to have one child. Although this is the official policy, many only children opt to only have one child. I don't even want to know the abortion statistics, whether it be forced or not. When I went for my first OB appointment here, that was one of three questions the doctor asked me, along with how many kids I had and the date of my last period. "How many abortions?" Yikes. She also asked for my genetic testing results. I opted out of them because although we would love a healthy baby, if our baby has some issues, that is OK with us too. We will love him just the same. She was shocked. There just are not special needs kids here in China, because they are terminated before they are born. Human life is not valued here as it is in other places. If hundreds of people die in an accident, those people are most likely replaceable, and society will not be the worse for it.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that Chinese people think very differently from me. While I have trained myself to try to look outward and help others any way I can, and give of myself and my resources, the Chinese take care of themselves and their own. They do their job, and they go home and spend time with their little families. They pour their resources into their one child, because that is their future. Once the parents retire, their child still lives with them, supports them, and the grandparents become the primary caregivers of the child while the parents work. People are not deliberately trying to run me over with their cars and scooters, they are just being assertive to get where they want to go because if they stop, they might get ran over! The kids are not sharing with Landon because they never have to share anything! I get ridiculed daily for being pregnant and having a crazy toddler not because they are mean, but because they cannot understand why anyone would want more than one child! They are content with their little slice of life so long as they can live their lives. So I'm trying to have compassion. I'm trying to not be judgmental of them, or to get mad at them when they are laughing at me in the street. I'm trying to smile and be friendly even when they aren't. I'm learning to play Frogger across the street to avoid being hit and still get to where I need to go. Some days are better than others, but now that I understand a little better how things are and how people think here, I am learning to be happier here.
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